3 Valuable Lessons Loss Has Taught Me

I got a call on December 27, 2014, from my eldest sister. She was informing me that I needed to hurry to my brothers home because my mother wasn’t doing too well. She had been sick for years, but the tone of my sister’s voice made my heart sink. I knew something was wrong, but as my spouse and I rushed to leave the house I shoved those thoughts to the back of my mind.

My brother lived an hour away, so we were going 70+ mph with the emergency lights on. We were eager to get there and while on the way I was praying that my worse fears were not about to come to life.

Most of the way there we were both silent. I honestly had nothing to say. There were moments when I began beating on the dashboard and pleading with God to take me instead if it was true that my mother had lost her battle.

Upon arrival, I was greeted outside by my siblings. My eldest brother came and gave me a hug with tears in his eyes and my youngest sister was sitting on the steps of the house and she couldn’t even utter a word from the unbearable pain of the loss.

I made my way to the back room and there she was. My mother was GONE!

I was 18 at the time, I had just graduated from school a few months prior and I couldn’t believe that this had happened to me and my family. My life was turned upside down in a blink of an eye.

See, even though loss is inevitable you can never be prepared for the pain and heartbreak that it will cause. You’ll have questions that will go unanswered, you’ll even have breakdowns at the most unexpected times. It is just something that you can never get used to.

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From 18 to 21 I have lost a total of 5 people and here is what I’ve learned from it all.

1. Healing Takes Time //
When you lose a loved one it is easy to ask when will the pain go away. You are so eager to get back to your old self again, but you can’t seem to fill that empty void in your chest. Don’t rush it! Let yourself grieve, let yourself feel, and let yourself heal.

Let yourself grieve, let yourself feel, and let yourself heal. Click To Tweet

2. You Are Not Alone //
I have said this before and it holds so much truth. When something tragic happens we begin to isolate ourselves from any and everything because we feel alone — we feel as if no one can possibly know what we are going through. However, there are millions of people who are experiencing that same pain you feel and there are people who have overcome it. Just know that you’re not alone, no matter how alone you may feel.

3. Being Grateful & Cherishing the Moments //
When my mother passed away all my family and I had left were memories of her. See, that’s why it is important that we cherish each moment and be grateful for all things because it can be taken from us in a blink of an eye. Life is short — be grateful, love unconditionally, and live fully.

Life is short -- be grateful, love unconditionally, and live fully. Click To Tweet

If you’ve ever lost a loved one, what was one thing that it has taught you?

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  • Gallantly, gal

    Thank you for this. It was beautiful, and even years later, I am sorry for your loss.
    I never lost someone really close to me, but it’s a fear I live with everyday, even though I know I should live in the present and just be grateful to have them in my life.
    It is bound to happen, I know. And when it does, I will keep your advice in mind. Thank you for sharing your experience and words of wisdom<3


    • Alexis Nichole

      Thank you so much, it really means a lot. I’m constantly afraid of losing the ones close to me, but like you said, I try to live in the present to appreciate and cherish every moment.

    • Alexa

      This is a great article and so true. I am sorry for your loss writing can be very cathartic I have learned. I, too have lost quite a few family members over the years and I have learned you never really go back to your old self, but become a new and stronger you. Keeping moving forward and staying strong

  • Robbie

    Losing someone you love is never easy, but I appreciate your motivation to carry on for those who have departed. I find that’s best to work on self care right after something like that happens. Once you let the reality sink in and you come to accept it, you can really start to heal. It’s never easy though and things are always different for everyone. Thank you for being brave and sharing ❤️

    • Alexis Nichole

      Thank you so much for reading. You’re absolutely right. It’s so easy for people to slip into self-destruction when something so tragic happens, however, like you said, self-care is definitely important when you’re going through such a tough time.

  • Katie

    I am so sorry for your loss! I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose a parent. Losing someone you love is never easy but it does teach you valuable lessons. Thanks for sharing!

  • Rose

    Thank you for writing this. My friend has lost her mom just two years ago and it made me realize that every grief process is so personal. I can really relate to all of your lessons learned. I’ve dealt with the loss of a dear friend who just died too young as well.
    It broke my heart, and it took a lot of time for me to come to terms with it. Beautifully written

    • Alexis Nichole

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is so different for each and every one of us, but the lessons that we can learn are all the same. Thank you for reading, this was a hard one to write.

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